


Cried a Little

by jericho



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-08
Updated: 2012-06-08
Packaged: 2017-11-07 06:41:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/428066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jericho/pseuds/jericho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An experimental bit about Howie, Kevin, AJ and sexual exploration.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cried a Little

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2000.

Howie turned 21. They had a party. He looked in the mirror and thought he looked 12. 

Kevin said: "Nah, kid, your body makes up for it." 

Howie blushed. Felt weird. Hid his face and ate more pizza. 

Kevin and AJ fucked in the hotel room next to Howie's, the TV turned up loud. Howie still heard them. He put the blanket around his head, rolled onto his side. They were men. Well, AJ was almost a man. Close enough. And they had urges. Howie just wanted someone to sleep with him. To help him feel less lonely. 

He rolled onto his other side. Tried not to listen. Thought about calling his mom. 

*** 

Kevin was exploring a new side of himself. He still dug the ladies, but he looked different. Stranger. Howie felt like Kevin was watching him. Waiting. One night Kevin came down the hall, a little drunk. Howie rushed into his room and locked the door. He leaned against the other side, breathing heavily. 

Kevin knocked. Howie tried not to breathe. Kevin knocked again. 

Then he said: "Come on, kiddo, I know you're in there." 

Howie bit his lip and unlocked the door. Opened it and let Kevin come in. Kevin kissed him, using his tongue. Then Kevin touched him. Stroked him. Made tears come to his eyes when he came. 

The next day, Kevin went shopping. Howie waited in Kevin's room. Sat on the bed. Read Kevin's magazines. 

AJ came in and stared. Howie stared back. "Sorry," Howie mumbled, and went back to his own room. 

That night he listened to them fuck again. This time he touched himself. He came, but it wasn't as good. 

*** 

Howie stared at himself in the mirror. He hated his hair. He tried to comb it, gel it, straighten it out. It still just sat there, curly and short. He got new cologne. A new shirt. He wore it the next time Kevin came. 

*** 

Kevin said: "I want you guys to know that I love you both very much, and that we're all friends. This is just between friends." 

Then Howie closed his eyes and let AJ kiss him. Kevin sat back, watching. Howie felt AJ's tongue. AJ's hand moving up his leg. Howie pushed away. His stomach lurched. 

He rushed back to his own room and climbed in bed. Tried not to cry. Tried not to listen. Thought about calling his mom. 

*** 

Howie found AJ crying on the stairs. Kevin got a girlfriend. AJ guessed he should too. Howie put his arms around AJ's shoulders. Bit his lip so hard that it hurt. 

Then he went back to his room. Cried a little. Threw the shirt out the window, watching it billow down to the street. Dumped the cologne down the drain. Cried a little more. 

That night he wrapped himself in the blankets, listening to nothing. Cried because he wanted to call his mom. 

*** 

Kevin made a perfect groom. Tall. Strong. Handsome. Beautiful wife. His eyes sparkled after they kissed. Howie watched Kevin slip the ring on her finger. Her perfect, pale, slender finger. 

Kevin said: "I do." 

Everyone applauded. Howie smiled. 

He drank too much wine and thought he'd be sick. He stumbled to the closest bathroom and sat on the closed toilet lid. Braided his hair. Tried not to cry. Then he sobbed until it hurt to breathe. 

  



End file.
